Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Butterflies.

The butterflies are making chrysalids.
So that's something.

It's Wednesday. Saturday is my deadbaby due date.

I am going to replace the phrase "when we lost the baby" with "when we lost Willow." I am going to say her name outloud. I keep telling myself this.
But she's not lost. I know right where she is. I can see her. In a little box on a shelf next to the tv. Right here in the living room.
I panicked a little before we brought her home. I didn't know where I was going to put her urn. I didn't think I had anywhere in the house that was appropriate and I didn't know if I just wanted to put it away or keep it out. Then I decided on the cubby hole next to the tv. So I had to clean it all out. We used to keep the video games there and every so often I'll see Josh start to set something down there and then stop.