Sunday, January 23, 2011

Last time.

At my last good doctor's appt, I declined the AFP test.
This time I'll be taking every screening test they offer me.
Before I was pregnant, I didn't know. I told Susan that maybe I wouldn't. I didn't regret not taking the AFP test.
But that was before there was another baby. (I mean, a possible-baby. A maybe-baby.)
Now I want to know everything.
I didn't decline the test because I didn't want to know or because I wouldn't use the information. There are plenty of women on the TFMR boards who thought they would never terminate. But I wasn't one of them. I declined the test because I don't like having my blood drawn, it was going to cost us money, and - most importantly - NOTHING WAS WRONG WITH MY BABY. It just wasn't possible. There could not possibly be anything wrong with my baby.
This baby... well, I just don't know. I'm just not so confident about this maybe-baby.