Monday, September 20, 2010

Palm Springs man struck and killed by Amtrak train in Oceanside | | The Desert Sun

Terrie called me this morning to tell me that Roger died.

Palm Springs man struck and killed by Amtrak train in Oceanside
Desert Sun wire services • September 20, 2010
Palm Springs resident was struck and killed by a Amtrak train in Oceanside shortly before midnight Saturday.

The San Diego County medical examiner's office identified the 46-year-old as Roger Lee Bailey.
Bailey was attempting to cross the tracks by running under a closed crossing arm when he tripped and was struck at 11:56 p.m. Saturday by a train heading south from Los Angeles to San Diego, said Oceanside police Sgt. Travis Norton.
His body was thrown 'a short distance' and he was declared dead at the scene of 'multiple blunt-force injuries,' the San Diego County Sheriff's Department said.
The office says the 46-year-old Bailey ran under closed crossing arms, tripped and fell in front of an approaching Amtrak train. He died at the scene.
Sheriff’s Lt. Mike Munsey tells the North County Times that a woman with Bailey made it across the tracks before he fell.
Munsey says Bailey was carrying a beer and alcohol may have played a role in the incident."

Friday, September 17, 2010

The entire time I was pregnant with Willow, all I could think about was Mischa. I couldn't imagine really loving the new baby. I knew I would, I just couldn't picture it. Then we had the ultrasound. And, oh yeah, that's a baby in there. With feet. That only lasted about 24 hours. Then it was a baby with Spina Bifida. Soon to be a dead baby.
But now all I do is love my baby. Willow and the baby that hasn't even been conceived yet (or has it?).
Just like what I always read happens when a second baby is born. Suddenly the first is an older child. A little irritating. I'm a little resentful. Please, Mischa, just leave me alone for a minute. Just let me be with the baby.
What baby? There is no baby. There is a dead baby. And she doesn't need anything.

Bad week.

How's the baby?
Howsthebabyhowsthebabyhowsthebaby. Oh, you meant Mischa. I don't think of her as "the baby" anymore even though that's what she calls herself. "A baby loves momma," she says.
There's been another baby.

Allan Johnson died Sept. 4th.

I read a not-very-good book. I saw it at Walmart and just thought it looked interesting. Two little girls lost in the woods. One doesn't talk. Oh, but it turns out that she doesn't talk b/c she watched her baby sister be stillborn. And the town they live in? Willow Creek. And Willow Creek Woods and the place they play is Willow Wallow. So, one dead baby and my dead baby's name a few hundred times. I finished the book in two nights just so I could be done with it. (I couldn't just stop reading and leave those two little girls in the woods. I needed to know what happened to them.)

Night before last I cried and cried until I fell asleep. I cried and my heart ached. A literal pain in my chest. I wonder if that's anything like what a heart attack feels like.

Monday, September 13, 2010

What if someone you loved died and no one ever mentioned them again?