I went to visit Susan and meet Katie today. She was born Thursday morning.
I held her while she slept.
The subject of prenatal testing came up. Susan said she would carry to term, even for a fatal defect.
If I'd had a healthy baby, I'd still be pregnant. If we'd kept Willow, she'd probably be born by now or very soon. But we probably wouldn't have named her Willow.
....
Just got back from a (failed) stroller nap.
It wasn't raining.
Then it was sprinkling.
Then it was raining a little. I thought "this is nice. I feel like rain."
Then it became a downpour. The wind was blowing and I was drenched. Soaked. I couldn't even see. Rain was blowing into my eyes. Huge fat drops falling in sheets. My shoes were full of water.
I was walking huddled against the wall, trying to stay out of the rain so I could see.
Laughing.
"Picked the wrong time for a walk," my neighbor said.
Fucking hilarious.
