I think it would be much harder if she were my first.
Mostly I'm sad for Willow. That she didn't get to be alive. That she had so many things wrong.
At first I thought she'd be stillborn. Then someone said there was a chance she could be born alive. I really wanted that.
I think the hardest part was after she was born and the doctor was asking if there was a pulse. The nurse had laid her on me and was checking her umbilical cord but there was nothing.
