It's been a week. How is that possible?
A week since our baby was born.
I tried to look at the pictures from the hospital today. And then I decided not to. I scanned the ultrasound pictures and the handprints and footprints.
She's being cremated tomorrow, July 12th. We'll pick up the ashes and bring her home the next day, July 13th. Four months too early. My due date was November 13th. Mischa was one day early, so I imagined that this baby would be, too. She'd be born on November 12th and we'd come home on the 13th.
And now that's not going to happen.
Maybe I'll make a tiny scrapbook with her pictures and her footprints and handprints. Something to hold onto. And I want to make a little blanket with the rest of that monkey fabric.
When Mischa looked at the screen at the ultrasound, she said monkey and Josh said that now that was the nickname for the baby.
