Last year I took a pregnancy test before we left for San Diego. And that was it. I was pregnant. That was Willow.
And that was it.
This occured to me about halfway through his party on Saturday. This was before Liz asked me how I was feeling. Something she hasn't asked me for 9 months.
Later she says to me, "You never told me exactly when your due date is." And I said, "I never told you anything."
Josh said that was bitchy of me.
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
NT Scan
We parked. We went in. Waited a few minutes.
First one tech. Don't remember her name. She said she'd do some pictures and then Geneveive would come in and do some more pictures. She made annoying small talk. Asked if it was our first. I said no, so she asked if it was our second. I said, "Something like that." I think she asked if we were hoping for a boy or a girl.
I am so tired of that question.
I guess the baby was asleep. It was wasn't moving. That was freaking me out. It didn't seem to move much at all but it did end up moving some. She was finally able to get the profile for the NT measurement.
She mentioned a few things as she was scanning. The nasal bone ("nose bone," she said), when the baby put its open hand in front of its face (clenced fists can be a marker).
Then Genevieve came and did some more pics. Some more of the NT measurement. The legs, the spine, the head. She put some info into the computer. Saw that she'd done our last scan and said she'd thought we looked familiar. Then she said she was going to get Dr Steiger. At first she just put the towel over my belly, but then she said I could wipe off and sit up. The Dr was just going to look at the pictures, he wouldn't need to do any more scanning. And that was a relief.
NT was 1.2.
Odds are 1:10,000 for T21, 1:22,000 for T18.
No anencephaly. Skull is nice and round.
Spine looks good so far.
We made the appt for the anatomy scan. April 1st.
First one tech. Don't remember her name. She said she'd do some pictures and then Geneveive would come in and do some more pictures. She made annoying small talk. Asked if it was our first. I said no, so she asked if it was our second. I said, "Something like that." I think she asked if we were hoping for a boy or a girl.
I am so tired of that question.
I guess the baby was asleep. It was wasn't moving. That was freaking me out. It didn't seem to move much at all but it did end up moving some. She was finally able to get the profile for the NT measurement.
She mentioned a few things as she was scanning. The nasal bone ("nose bone," she said), when the baby put its open hand in front of its face (clenced fists can be a marker).
Then Genevieve came and did some more pics. Some more of the NT measurement. The legs, the spine, the head. She put some info into the computer. Saw that she'd done our last scan and said she'd thought we looked familiar. Then she said she was going to get Dr Steiger. At first she just put the towel over my belly, but then she said I could wipe off and sit up. The Dr was just going to look at the pictures, he wouldn't need to do any more scanning. And that was a relief.
NT was 1.2.
Odds are 1:10,000 for T21, 1:22,000 for T18.
No anencephaly. Skull is nice and round.
Spine looks good so far.
We made the appt for the anatomy scan. April 1st.
pictures
I got the pictures yesterday.
I ordered Willow's pictures on Shutterfly. Along with a whole bunch of pics of M. I opened the door yesterday and there they were.
I got extra copies of the u/s pics and the one with her hand. For my mom, I guess.
I put them in the little photo album. It's pink and says "baby girl" on the front.
Sometimes in my mind she looks worse than she really did. And I know she looks worse in the pictures than she did to me there in the hospital.
I have a cremated fetus in my living room. Sometimes that seems really fucked up. I guess it is. And now I have pictures of her.
I ordered Willow's pictures on Shutterfly. Along with a whole bunch of pics of M. I opened the door yesterday and there they were.
I got extra copies of the u/s pics and the one with her hand. For my mom, I guess.
I put them in the little photo album. It's pink and says "baby girl" on the front.
Sometimes in my mind she looks worse than she really did. And I know she looks worse in the pictures than she did to me there in the hospital.
I have a cremated fetus in my living room. Sometimes that seems really fucked up. I guess it is. And now I have pictures of her.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
11 week appt. Etc.
My appt was a week ago. So I'm 12 weeks today. I never even wrote anything about my other appts...
Intake: Uneventful. She said "and this is your 3rd pregnancy..." a few too many times but it was okay. Told me I'd get a viability scan that I didn't end up getting. Gave me paperwork about blood tests, etc.
First appt (7 weeks): Saw Dr, had an exam, pretty much just told me I'd get stuff at my next appt. I did get the Rx for my doppler, so all in all, it felt like a good appt.
11 weeks: Saw Mary b/c Dr was on vacation. I was very nervous about that but it ended up being okay. Maybe even better than seeing Dr. Like she kept talking about sending me to see Dr Steiger and stuff. Doppler. I was terrified that she wouldn't find a heartbeat - not necessarily that the baby was dead, but just that she wouldn't be able to find it and she'd say "oh, it's early" and I'd have to say "no, I need an u/s now. this minute." It took (what seemed like) forever. She had to go get a different doppler b/c the one she was using was too staticky. Then even when she found it, I couldn't hear it b/c my heart was beating so fast. She went between mine and the baby's a few times and then I could hear it.
My doppler came over the weekend. I tried it on Monday and was pretty sure I heard the hb. I tried it this morning and was almost positive I found it.
NT tomorrow at Steiger's.
Intake: Uneventful. She said "and this is your 3rd pregnancy..." a few too many times but it was okay. Told me I'd get a viability scan that I didn't end up getting. Gave me paperwork about blood tests, etc.
First appt (7 weeks): Saw Dr, had an exam, pretty much just told me I'd get stuff at my next appt. I did get the Rx for my doppler, so all in all, it felt like a good appt.
11 weeks: Saw Mary b/c Dr was on vacation. I was very nervous about that but it ended up being okay. Maybe even better than seeing Dr. Like she kept talking about sending me to see Dr Steiger and stuff. Doppler. I was terrified that she wouldn't find a heartbeat - not necessarily that the baby was dead, but just that she wouldn't be able to find it and she'd say "oh, it's early" and I'd have to say "no, I need an u/s now. this minute." It took (what seemed like) forever. She had to go get a different doppler b/c the one she was using was too staticky. Then even when she found it, I couldn't hear it b/c my heart was beating so fast. She went between mine and the baby's a few times and then I could hear it.
My doppler came over the weekend. I tried it on Monday and was pretty sure I heard the hb. I tried it this morning and was almost positive I found it.
NT tomorrow at Steiger's.
My NT scan is tomorrow.
Josh said, "Short notice."
If they had asked me to build a time machine and come in a week ago, I would've agreed.
So I then I tried my doppler. Found what I think was the baby's heartbeat.
Took a shower and cried and cried.
All I could think was "I don't want to cremate another baby."
Josh said, "Short notice."
If they had asked me to build a time machine and come in a week ago, I would've agreed.
So I then I tried my doppler. Found what I think was the baby's heartbeat.
Took a shower and cried and cried.
All I could think was "I don't want to cremate another baby."
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